


Felix wasn't felling well

by minsugapungpung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Baby bottle, Fluffy, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Jeongin is out of his mind, Little Felix, Little Space, M/M, Pacifier - Freeform, Sensory Overload, but its not that easy, caregiver! changbin, felix and changbin love each other so much, felix didn't want anyone to know about his headspace, felix throw up, jeongin likes someone, lets clap for jisung behavior, little! felix, not sexual, petnames, they got whipped for little felix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28056234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minsugapungpung/pseuds/minsugapungpung
Summary: Felix wasn’t feeling well.Changbin thought he was doing a pretty good job on keeping an eye on his boyfriend during their practice.But Felix clearly wasn't feeling well and thing got messy. Stray Kids was about to discover everything and this wouldn't be easy.Felix and Changbin were scared, but than Felix was hurt and his caregiver needed to make something.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 32
Kudos: 105





	1. Practice room

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I'm gonna already apologize for my english, because its not my mother language and its actually my first time writing somethin in english, hope its everything okay.

Felix wasn’t feeling well.

He was stressed out about the new rap bars Chan gaved to him for their next title track, he passed so much time practicing for comeback, so many interviews, less time to sleep, photoshoots and all of these were just too much for him to deal with. Especially when he did not have enough time to regress.

Changbin, his boyfriend, was his caregiver even before they became a couple. They just deal with each other's fears, worries and secrets so openly, that his little side was one of the things Felix decided to share with him. For some reasons, actually.

First, with the life they have, Felix felt the need to regress more often than when he discovered what age regression was. And waiting for members to leave the dorm wasn't really a possible thing when you share a house with seven other people.

Second, regress alone is a dangerous thing sometimes, mainly when, on those occasions, Felix got deeply in his little headspace. Once, he almost got caught by Hyunjin, and this scared his life out of him. He didn’t want anyone to know.

But one day, he felt the need to get little so badly that, when Changbin told him about how insecure he was with the new song he was producing with Chan, he just told him without even noticing. His mouth just shared his fears with Changbin and… Binnie understood it.

It took some time for him to actually understand how good this made Felix feel and how to deal with little Felix. What needs he had. How to talk, how to act, how to make Lix feel comfortable with another person interacting with a four or five-years old himself. But at the end, little Felix was just the sweetest kid ever, a cuddle bug, a bright and even more smiling person.

Changbin made Felix feel safe, loved, cared. And his headspace made Changbin feel like he was responsible for a person that was all of those things, it made him relax and got proud of himself.

But they needed to hide this from their members. Felix wasn’t sure of how they would react, and what they could find on the internet about little’s stuff. They would be interested or scared of it? Probably, they would think it was a really weird thing. And that scared Felix as hell. He didn't want that to happen, he didn’t want his friends - almost his family - treating him differently because of the way he found to relieve his stress.

And that itself made Felix get even more stressful.

Changbin thought he was doing a pretty good job on keeping an eye on his boyfriend, ‘cause no little accident could happen when he clearly didn’t have privacy to help Felix to regress. But just as much as Felix was busy with Stray Kids’ comeback, Changbin was as well. Their title track was he and Chan’s responsibility. More than that, JYP just decided that one of Changbin’s draft songs had to enter their album as well.

Changbin had a lot of work to do.

They were going crazy.

And that wasn’t a good thing.

In today’s dance practice, Felix's head was fuzzy. His moves weren't feeling right, his arms were just too slow, just as his legs were not moving this fast. Stray Kids’ dance teacher was yelling at them, counting “five, six, seven, eight” so many times that it felt like they were being hypnotized. His stomach didn't look well, like Felix was going to throw up at any time soon. His body was feeling cold, he was sweating so much and his mouth was dry.

Was Felix getting sick? That could not happen at all. He still needed to go to singing class that day, because he wasn’t good enough on it, his high notes were terrible, and that had to be fixed.

His head was getting more and more cloudy at minutes passed by. Some of the members asked him if he was feeling okay, but for some reason he answered “yes” even wanting to scream a big NO.

But then, it happened.

After their dance teacher left, they were practicing by themselves. Maknae Jeongin was just so excited that day (apparently for no reason) that were not noticing how bad Felix was actually feeling.

Maybe because of this, he thought it was a good idea to have Felix piggybacking him. And Felix wasn’t waiting to have someone jumping into his back unawares.

“Watch out!” someone screamed.

It was too late. They were both falling to the ground. Jeongin above Felix who had to support him and Jeongin’s weight without even being prepared for those movements.

Felix was close to hitting his head on the floor. His arms protected it from happening, but they got hurt. When his elbows hit the ground it sended waves of pain through his whole body, his knees weren’t in a better condition. Felix’s feets twisted and he was sure he was going to get some bruises on it.

“Felix, are you fine?” he heard Chan’s voice.

But he couldn’t answer him.

His ears were ringing, his eyes were closed from fear. His mind just trying to understand what happened and why was hurting so much. Everything was a blur.

Finally recognizing Jeongin’s laugh, Felix sobed. The pain was just so present to ignore. His mind was regressing without him even noticing and that was scaring itself, because members were all around him, Jeongin thought that this was funny and he was crying. His headspace made it feel even worse. And God, it took so long for him to recognize Changbin’s touch.

“I don’t know why he is crying, hyung. I’m sorry, I didn't think this was a big thing” Jeongin told someone.

“Felix? Love, talk to me. Are you hurt?” That was Changbin and his voice made Felix open his eyes. His caregiver was there, he was safe.

“It hurts” Felix whispered, flexing his fingers trying to get some control of himself even in headspace.

At least, he was able to talk.

Changbin sat next to him, touching him gently, yet trying to understand if he was talking to his love or his little one, his prince, his baby. Both of them were confused. The song hadn’t ended yet and that was getting bigger and bigger, the sound was too loud, his ears ringing so badly that could possibly make him pass out.

“Where? Show me” Changbin asked.

But his voice was so loud as well. He wasn’t yelling, but everything seemed too much, voices, sounds, touches, little Felix felt oversensitive.

“Felix, talk to us, what do you need?” It was Chan again and his voice sounded really worried, his pich was high and that made Felix’s eyes shut violently, his hands coming to his ears immediately, his body curling itself. Changbin brought him to his laps, holding him on his arms, but again that was too much for Felix.

“Hurt, hurt, hurt, please, stop” He whispered, trying to communicate what he was feeling. Felix was able to talk, it just was too much to deal with when all of his senses were out of control.

“I’m gonna turn this off” Jisung said, going straight to the speakers and stopping the song.

Finally Felix’s hands covering his ears were meaning something to somebody, just as Changbin brought his own arms next to his body, trying to not touch his boyfriend more than necessary. Felix was curled like a ball on his lap, head to his right shoulder, it wasn’t enough, but was all little Lix could get along with at the moment.

“Felix, do you need me to whisper?” Changbin asked, understanding that things were going to blow up at any second.

And he was fucking scared.

It was his responsibility to take care of Felix. He was his friend, his lover, his caregiver and the other members couldn’t just scare him at the point where he wasn’t able to take care of Felix because Felix needed him more than ever.

Their secret was being revealed second by second. And he couldn't do anything about it more than try to make Felix feel better.

“Okay, can you tell me if you are verbal right now?” Changbin asked again, as low as possible.

“Verbal? Of course he is verbal, hyung, what the fuck?” Hyunjin said in a normal tone and that was enough for Felix sob a little more.

Why were they being so mean to him? What did he do wrong?

Changbin couldn’t even look at his members, only and strictly focused on Felix even when they were doing bad to their sunshine without noticing.

“Little” Felix answered. “A little bit verbal? Okay, don’t push yourself so much, can you show me where you’re hurt?” he asked back. 

Trying to open a bit of his eyes, Felix pressed a bit harder his ears, then took away his hand really quickly to point to his feets, knees, elbows and head. “Did you hit your head on the floor, Felix?” Jisung asked this time, whispering just like Changbin. He was lost in the situation, of course, but his friend was looking awful, something was really wrong and Changbin was the one helping him, so he tried to follow what the elder one was doing.

Felix shook his head as a no and Changbin got a deep breath. “Lix, can you tell me how old you’re feeling right now?”

“May-maybe this many” he showed the number four.

“Okay, that's too much” Jeongin was up, laughing again. “Of course he is not four years old, he probably hit his head and doesn't remember” he pointed out, walking into Felix and Changbin’s direction. Everyone seemed off, quite not understanding or trying to process what the hell they’re seeing. Yet, the maknae didn’t look like even trying to do so, using his high pitch and smiling just like they were at a comic show.

That was making Felix feel like he was about to throw up. Like, at any time from there.

‘’Appa…” Felix begged.

That made everyone freeze.

“C’mon, hyung, stop that, it wasn’t a big thing and you’re acting weird. This joke is stupid, stop it now” He pushed Felix's shoulder forward almost yelling and that was enough. Little Felix just turned his head and everything that was in his stomach, was getting out.

Minho was the one who picked up the trash can, thinking and acting fast enough to at least prevent the damage from being even bigger.

“Calm down, Lix, hyungs are here” Chan said.

He’s been completely lost, trying to get the hints of what was happening with Felix and why Changbin was the only one that looked like was aware of everything. Bang Chan is the leader of this team, his almost brother was in pain, suffering and he needed to think about how to help. Chan could wait a little longer to get answers to all of the questions on his mind, so Felix had to be his priority.

“Urgh” they listened.

“Jeongin” Chan called “If you’re not going to help, I’ll ask you to leave this room. You’re doing nothing good for Felix, you’re screaming and being disrespectful for what he is passing through. If anyone in this room is not ready to hold the judgments on, please, leave. Leave now, get some fresh air, drink a bottle of water and just come back here when I send you a text.”

Jeongin left. Minho followed him. Hyunjin did it too just like Seungmin.

Chan couldn’t tell if they’re trying to show some kind of support for the maknae - maybe to not let him feel alone - or if they’re feeling something bad or wrong about Felix’s moment. 

Chan decided he could also wait a little longer to have this question cleared.

“It’s okay, little one. Appa is here, take a deep breath with me. Just like that, good boy” Changbin told him. He wasn't able to hold on his caregiver instincts anymore. “Don’t touch him, Chan-hyung. I think he is very over sensitive now, of touches and sounds.”

“Here” Jisung said. “I have these sound blockers. Can you put it on his ears without hurting him?”

“You can try” Chan appeared with a new water bottle. “But we should calm him down first”

He was right. Just as always. He was their leader after all.

Felix had already stopped to throw up, but still his breathing was speeded up and irregular. Trying to follow his appa’s breath, Felix turned his back to Changbin’s chest. So tired of everything.

“Baby? Appa and hyungs here got some water for you. Let’s drink a little bit, okay? Gonna do it together” Changbin was already talking with his caregiver tone: slow, carefull and in the sweetest way possible. Those who couldn’t handle it, had already left.

He took the bottle to Felix's mouth, tilting it slightly so he could drink calmly. When in such a fragile state, little Lix used to drink from a baby bottle, so this could be a stressful situation for him. In a reflex, Felix held Changbin’s wrist and that was enough for him to understand that he was still Felix’ safe place, that his baby was still looking for his comfort even if it wasn't with the touches from his caregiver.

“I know, baby, I know. You can do it, I’m here with you, I’m not letting you go”.

‘’Lix’’ Jisung called “Hannie has this thing right here, they’ll help you with the noises you’re hearing. Do you think your appa can put it in your ears? It won’t hurt, Hannie promise you.”

Both Chan and Changbin were surprised by the way Jisung had adapted himself for Felix’ needs. Changbin felt the need to cry. He was so scared of everything, just as much as his boyfriend, but it was obvious how much care Jisung was showing with his words. He was really trying to help and that made Changbin feel safe. He could get things under control again and that was happening because of Jisung’s help.

“Appa help” their youngest asked for.

After that, Changbin put the blockers on his boyfriend’s ears and got his hoodie up, to cover his head. With Chan and Jisung’s help, they finally got up from the floor and Felix was quick to hug Changbin’s right arm. He had asked for his paci, so it was really the right time to go home.

“I think… Hm, the practice is over, but doesn’t feel right to let everyone go home. Both of you seem to really need privacy” it was what Stray Kids’ leader told him. And again, he was right.

“Chan-hyung, I know you really have a lot of questions to ask and I promise we're gonna answer everything. This is just so… difficult” Chan smiled. “I know. Just worry yourself of taking good care of Felix, these answers I need, can wait. Jisung, help Felix to put his mask on, and I’m gonna call everyone back and make some new activities for them. This will give you some time alone at the dorm. Let me know when everything gets better.”

“I’m going home with them” Han announced “You don’t need to explain anything to me, hyung, but I’ll help you with Felix even if you just need someone to keep everything quiet for him”.

3racha team took a deep breath. Little Lix was a lot calmer now, hugging his caregiver’s arm and leaning his head to Changbin’ shoulder. It wasn’t hard to get out of JYP building, any of them said a word while walking to the dorms: Jisung with their backpacks and the elder one paying attention to Felix only, completely focused on don't letting anything else go wrong. They have had enough for a day.

“I’m gonna bath him. Can you take some warm clothes for him? Down Felix’ bed, there’s a black box. You can take that from it, please.”

Jisung said some ‘’don’t worry’’ for Changbin before going to his friends’ room. He got really curious about everything that was filling that box. He could notice some cute clothes and socks, coloring books and a different type of a baby bottle hidden below all those shirts, hoodies and pajamas, but he stopped himself from looking for more. There was no time for his curiosity. Jisung had taken only what Felix needed: comfy clothes and a paci.

Bath Felix wasn’t that easy. Changbin didn’t want to touch him more than needed, so it makes it impossible for him to even wash his boyfriend's hair, ‘cause it wasn’t a good idea to keep touching and moving his head. So he made the basics, watching every reaction Felix had. His head was low, tired, his body hurt, but his yellow hoodie with koalas printed on it, made him feel better instantly. When little Felix saw his paci, he even smiled.

“Let's get these blockers back in your ears, what do you think about it?”. Felix's answer was a new suck on his paci. He regressed more.

“Do you think we can make him eat something?” he heard Jisung asking when they arrived at their living room. 

“Dunno if he can eat, but drink is a good option”. Changbin put Felix sitting on the table bench beside Han at the kitchen and after heating up a bit of milk and catching Lix’ baby bottle, his baby was back on his lap. Changbin didn’t hug him as he normally would do, but the youngest grabbed his wrist and hugged his forearm just like his life depended on it.

So Changbin feeded him, calmly. Even fighting sleep, Felix shared glances with his caregiver, flicking their lashes, but looking deeply at each other’s eyes. They didn’t talk or made any kind of noises, just shared their intimate time, loving each other through mutual respect and support.

They didn’t see Jisung, his nowhere to be seen, or it was what they thought.

Because Han Jisung, the one who helped them without questioning or showing any visible judgment, the one who brought them home safely, looking around to confirm that nothing would make their way to the dorm something difficult, the one that was keeping Chan informed of the situation was right there. Watching everything the couple was doing. And this time not to try to understand what this whole situation was or make theories on his mind, but to appreciate how much love his friends, his members were sharing together. And their love could be anything, but not something to repress.

So if this made them feel better, if this developed their relationship, if it was something healthy and something that was representing just a percentage of how much they loved each other, Han couldn’t do nothing more than respect and let them be happy.

“I’ll lay him on bed and come back’’ Changbin said to Jisung.

“Don’t worry, hyung. You and Felix need to rest, so I’m gonna text Chan-hyung and let him know that everything is okay now. All of us can talk later. Go get some sleep and call me if you need me”

Changbin just nodded to him and took little Felix on his arms to make his way to their bedroom. “Already sleeping, hm? Love you, little prince. We’re gonna be fine” he whispered, touching their noses slightly.

He found Gyu on their bed and put his plush on Felix's arms, paci on his lips and after a shower, he laid beside his boyfriend, just hoping to wake up in a better situation.


	2. Let's talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, don't have much to say other than ask sorry for my late update here. I was working on my undergraduate thesis - that had already being approved and got the perfect score (and it was about K-Pop and BTS) - so I only had time to write at dawn, it's like almost 5 am right now, so hope everything is on time.
> 
> Let's what you guys think about this chapter. See you later, have fun!

Everyone can recall a day when waking up looked like the worst decision ever. Every step you do feels wrong, your body looks in the worst condition, your skin looks ugly, your hair is a mess, everything is going wrong and you just want to restart all of it, because it doesn't seem right.

Felix woke up feeling like this.

He was a mess, for sure. He could listen to Chan’s voice outside the room, could feel the blockers on his ears, protecting him from his overload of senses and could see Changbin next to him, not touching their bodys that much. Felix felt grateful for it. He wasn’t in his little headspace anymore, but some senses were still on.

“Bin…” he called, so low that probably even him wouldn’t be able to tell if it was hearable or not.

In fact, it wasn’t. But Changbin was already awake, so he opened his eyes instantly. “Hey, love…”, he smiled “How are you feeling?”

“Bad”, Felix said. “Head hurts, ‘feel like I hurt my elbows and knees too.”

“You’re okay with touches now?” Changbin asked, hoping for a positive answer. He wishes to touch his boyfriend so bad, hug him and make him know that everything was going to be fine. "No, so sorry. Sounds still a bit too much, looks like Chan-hyung will break this door sooner or later”.

They took a deep breath. “Don’t be sorry, alright? All that matters is you being fine. I’ll ask Jisung to bring you some pain killers and a bag of ice while I talk to Chan”.

“Actually”, Felix held his arms before he left their bed “I guess it's better if we talk together. All of us four”

“Are you sure about this? I can explain everything to them.” the elder told, but Felix just reassured him that this would be better and quicker. Mostly because the other four members of Stray Kids weren’t at the dorm yet, he wasn't able to tell why, but it’s talk to Jisung and Chan would be ten times easier, so it was better in that way.

Soon his aussie brother was in front of him, kneeled to get face to face with Felix. Jisung was right behind him, really quiet, maybe shy. “Got this for you”, Chan said, giving him some pills and a glass of water. “Thank you, hyung”.

“When will everyone be back?” Changbin asked. “Probably soon. I got a dismissal for Felix’s vocal class, so Seungmin and Jeongin replaced him at the studio. Minho and Hyunjin were in the dance room again, but we have some time left”.

“So I should probably start, hm?” Felix said, asking Changbin to sit by his side again. He holds his hoodie, looking for comfort, something that both Chan and Jisung were showing towards him as well, just by the look of their faces, the kindness in their eyes. “I would like to say firstly that what happened earlier wasn’t Jeongins faults, I wasn’t feeling good since morning because I’m stressed out about our next comeback, just like everyone else. Things just got messy later on. I haven’t been able to sleep this much, so I’m sorry to ruin today’s practice, my efforts were not enough and our dance teacher might have noticed and pushed us more and more because of me.”

Chan had a kind smile on his face. “You can be sorry for everything in your life, Felix, but not from feeling unwell. I’m pretty sure nobody blames you” he told him, so friendly. 

Bang Chan was clearly the best leader Stray Kids’ members could ask for.

“I’m still sorry anyways, I could’ve let you guys know about it so we could help each other, but that is not the point why we came here.” he signed, touching his blockers nervously. “It's okay,” Jisung assured him and Felix noded, trying to get things organized in his head. “B-back in Australia, I’ve got into something called… age regression. It's a headspace where someone can relay to when things get too much. When the world seems too big and responsibilities too overwhelming. This is, hm… b-basically a mind state that I look for when I’m really stressed out, you know? You and Binnie work out to relax just like I start to act like a child to feel better.”

“This is safe for you?” Chan asked and Changbin was right there to answer him: “It is. Just imagine being a kid for a second. You don’t have to worry about anything, your parents take care of you, love you, play with you, bathe you and put you to sleep. You don’t have to worry about beels, about your alarm, about how many hours of sleep you got and think if they will be enough to prevent you from collapsing in the middle of the practice room. You just don’t have a life and responsibilities to worry about.”

“I started to regress more often after elimitionation, you know?” Felix lowered his face. “I’ve got scared and couldn’t stop thinking of what I might do when all of you were together and I had no one else than Minho-hyung that was just as miserable as me. So, as a child, I was able to free my mind of this, of the ‘what if’s’ that I was asking myself about everyday.”

“You can control it? Because it was scary for me to see you in that state earlier today” that time, Jisung was the one talking. Felix felt bad for him, his headspace shouldn’t be scary at all. “I have to apologize myself for it, Sungie, it shouldn’t be like that, but I guarantee you that I can control it. To be honest, I took some time to get really deep in my headspace, because I was not ready to let someone know about it, that was one of the things that kept stressing me. Today was an atypical situation, I have been regressing since I woke up.”

“You haven’t been sleeping that well, have you?”

He agreed. “Sorry, Chan-hyung. But, those rap bars you gave to me were freaking me out. I swear to you that I practiced a hundred times, but it’s so fast, and some korean words are still so hard. I was trying to be good enough, but felt bad to tell you that I couldn’t make it.”

“Look at me, Lix” Chan asked, staring deeply into Felix's eyes. “If you feel that something is too much for you, too hard, too difficult, never ever be afraid to tell me. I can stop everything I’m doing to find some time for us to practice together. If it’s dancing, rapping, singing, korean pronunciation, it doesn’t matter, just tell me. We're gonna find a way to solve it.”

“You have me and Jisung as well, hm? 3racha team is here for you” his boyfriend said. He looked so beautiful there, so supportive. Felix couldn’t wish for anybody else to be in his romantic life other than Seo Changbin. He loved him so much. “And I don’t wanna listen to you saying that you are not enough for something, okay? That’s not true and if you feel like this again, we can work together on it as well.”

“I’ll try”, he promised.

“Can I ask something?” Jisung was holding his own hands, quiet but moving his fingers fast, nervous. “Changbin takes care of you in these… regression moments, right? What do you guys do while you feel like this?"

“People who regress are called _littles_ and we, sometimes, have the need to have someone taking care of us. It's a common thing, some people need it and some don’t. They’re called caregivers. And it’s just like the name says. I haven’t asked Changbin-hyung to be my caregiver officially, but after explaining all of this to him, we just ended like that, he wasn’t my boyfriend that time and even little space being not a romantic or a sexual thing, this made us feel more comfortable with each other and helped us to confess our feelings later on.”

Both Chan and Jisung smiled. They were happy about Felix and Changbin's relationship. They are a really cute and pretty couple, smiling at each other most part of the day, cuddling in every opportunity they had and sharing beautiful glances. It wasn’t just like a kissing relationship (even kissing a lot), but anyone could see that they were communicating even not moving their mouths. The way they act meant something for them, they could get lost in themselves and don’t even notice what’s happening around.

“Little Felix likes to play with things that make him feel even smaller. He’s almost always feeling like four or five years old. When things get really too much, maybe three, but he likes the same things: colouring, watching some cartoons, playing with puzzles, some cuddles. We haven’t bought a lot of stuff for him, so I just play with what we have or stay by his side in case he needs me.”

“You color with him?” Jisung asked, smirking.

“It’s cute okay?” they laughed. It hurted Felix’s ears, but it was a good thing. This wasn't a weird situation anymore.

“I know that some stuff can be weird to you guys, so Changbin-hyung and I can just stay in our room when I slip into my headspace.”

Chan’s face got suspicious: “What kind of weird stuff?”

“You know” Felix shrugged “The way I speak or dress, I- I also have a pacifier and a…”

“Lix” Chan interrupted. “If it’s more comfortable for you being little in a private place just like this room, it’s okay. But this entire dorm is your home, so you should feel safe here. This headspace is something that makes you feel good, it’s not a dangerous thing or something that can physically bother our members, so feel free to be little wherever you want. It’s not weird, okay? We are here to support you, not to judge, we’re family”

“And I already saw you with a baby bottle, so…”

“Wait!” Chan got up on his feets, looking horrified at Jisung and Felix. “You have a baby bottle, Jisung saw him with it and I didn’t get a photo of this moment in my phone?”

Felix had his eyes widen. “You want a photo?” Changbin asked. “Because I have some of him being cute in previous days”

“Hyung!” Felix was choked. “I want it, okay? And want you to let me know when you feel better about touches. I’m not used to seeing you like this and I really want to give you some hugs.”

Jisung could just laugh. Again, it hurted Felix, but it was a really good sign. “I’m hungry. We should have dinner”, Changbin suggested.

“That’s right. C’mon, Sungie. Let’s find something” Chan called. And like that, their conversation was over.

Changbin pounded. “I want to know when this oversensitivity of touch ends as well, right? Wanna kiss you so bad.” Felix smiled, leaning his body closer to Changbin’s and pecking their lips. Once, twice and, the third time, a little longer. “Love you, hyung.”

“Love you too, love” he answered with his eyes still closed “So much”

They got up, Felix holding the fabric of the sleeve of Changbin’s hoodie and walking to their kitchen. Chan was already ranging some bowls with hot rice, kimchi and chicken on the table. Some noodles were waiting for boiled water and in a minute they would be perfect to eat.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin, Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin arrived. They were laughing and playing with each other. They were loud, so this made Felix flinch, but he made a sign for Chan with his hand to tell him that it was okay. It was their home as well, they should feel free to make some noise whenever they want.

But even knowing each other so much, some minutes later, Felix wasn’t able to tell what they were doing. They haven’t said more than some “hello’s” before getting straight to their rooms and bathrooms. Stray Kids’ dorm looked cloven, like two different families lived in there, but Jisung wasn’t really worried about it because, sooner or later, he would be breaking the ice and playing _Among Us_ with Hyunjin.

Chan, on the other side, couldn’t wait to talk to Minho and understand how his members were feeling, he needed to have a conversation, explain everything and, later, fix things up to and make this tension disappear.

They finally have a day off scheduled for tomorrow. They would be having some time to recover their energy after ages, so this situation didn’t need to be a big deal.

That was what Chan hoped for.

Changbin, however, could already tell that things weren’t going to be fixed up this quickly as he noticed the way that members were acting reluctant to get near the kitchen. Especially Jeongin, who was staring at Felix without even blinking after he took a shower.

“You need something, Jeongin?” Felix asked, his chopsticks holding some noodles in the air. “You’ve been standing up in the same spot for minutes”.

“Just trying to figure out if you are already back to yourself” he answered, entering the kitchen and getting a glass of water for himself.

“Can guarantee you that I’ve never left” Jeongin let a laugh come out of his mouth. Jisung started to eat faster, trying to mask how he knew that uncomfortable things were going to happen, he could see that this wasn’t just a trivial conversation. “I don’t think so. Nobody understood what you were doing earlier. Happy you are back to normal.”

“That’s something more specific that you want to know, Jeongin? ‘m not getting where this is going” Felix dinner got set there, already forgotten. Changbin snorted. He didn’t like to get into someone’s argument, but if things got too much, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself and just watch. “So you are four years old again? Because its seems pretty obvious for me what I’m trying to say”

“Jeongin” Chan called once. It was a warning. “What? You’ll not gonna speak for him, will you, hyung? He is not a real kid.”

“Don’t need someone speaking for me, Jeongin, but you are the one that didn’t notice how really disrespectful you’re acting. We didn’t even finish our meal and you’re being a brat”.

 _Okay. This isn’t a good sign_ , it was what Minho thought when he stepped in their living room. He could even listen to some noises coming from Seungmin and Hyunjin’s room. They were probably looking for what was happening.

“Oh, so I’m the wrong one on this because I’m trying to get an explanation of that weird thing that happened during our practice. Which, if you didn’t notice, was ruined.”

“If I’m not being okay, that’s my problem, not yours. And if you wanted to traine so much, you should let Seungmin have his vocal class alone and practice with both Minho-hyung and Hyunjin-hyung. Next time, promise you, that I’ll just sit on the floor and watch our members dance by themselves to not disturb this much.”

“Of course you will” he rolled his eyes. “If Chan-hyung let you come home earlier because of your strange behavior, obviously it would be okay for him if you just lay on the floor and sleep. Yet, It’s not like you try that much to make things different, right?”

“Jeongin, that’s enough. Go back to your room” it was Minho who said. Their maknae was about to say “no” for him before Felix got up. 

Jisung reflexes made him stand up at the same second.

“He’s not going back to his room, Minho-hyung. He can’t just say that kind of thing and get safe in his bed, words have consequences” Felix said. “Felix, please…”

“No! You can’t do this to me, Chan-hyung. This is not right”.

“As I was saying…” Jeongin pointed, leaving his half empty glass of water back on kitchen’s sink. “Chan-hyung let you do whatever you want.”

“If you are not going to say what you really want, Jeongin, stop now” Felix got closer. Just like Jisung. “You already need sound blockers. Now you have a bodyguard?”

 _What is Jeongin doing?,_ Hyunjin asked himself, looking at that scene from his door’s room. 

It made Changbin rub his forehead.

“Why? Do you think I need a bodyguard? Because if you’re planning to have a physical fight between us, let me know, this will mean that things are worse than I thought.” 

“Fight it’s way too far from what you could handle. I bet that even these blockers haven't left your ears since what happened earlier.”

Jeongin was definitely challenging Felix. None of them could say why, but he was and Felix was getting into it hard, because in such an aggressive way (that wasn’t a regular thing getting from Felix) he took the blockers away from hi ears. Nothing was able to protect Felix’s oversenses anymore. Even Seungmin, the one that was further away from the kitchen, could see how this affected him: his hands started to tremble.

“Say what you want before we start to fight, Jeongin, this is not a joke”.

“Brave you, hm?” the maknae stepped closer to Felix. Jisung anxiety was increasing a bit, Chan’s mind started to run, trying to figure a way to stop this as Changbin was the one ready to separate them. Things were turning into a red flag. “You should stop this, Felix, whatever happened at the practice room, finish it. Our members got uncomfortable, it was really awkward, anybody was able to focus after that and we have a comeback to do. Focus on it better than in this awful thing that you’ve created.”

Members was shook.

They have never seen Jeongin talk like this.

“Who are you to tell me what I can or cannot do?”

“Do you need all of the members telling you the same? Or if our leader tells you this, your kid’s mind will understand quicker?”

“What?” Felix was disbelieved. “Why do you keep bringing Chan-hyung to this?”

Jeongin crossed his arms as he saw Minho, Hyunjin and Seungmin coming into the kitchen. All of them were looking at him. 

“Maybe in english this will be easier for you?”

Felix stepped back, Jeongin was playing dirty and the Aussie couldn’t understand why. What has he done to make their cute maknae act like a predator? He wasn’t even able to think about it deeply, his ears were ringing and things were happening too fast, like, what the fuck was that? His little space it was not something to be treated like this, especially when half of the group haven’t known about age regression from him.

And why Cristopher’s korean name was coming out of Jeongin’s mouth so frequently? Changbin was his boyfriend, his caregiver, Jisung was the one helping him at the studio, his best friend, so it didn’t make sense.

Chan was his leader, someone that took care of him like a brother as well, someone that has gone through the same as Felix. They were both homesick, they were both Aussies, feeling this empty space on their chests about their hometown, they had a connection because of it, so…

“Wait” Felix said, a strange smile on his face. “I can’t believe that you’re doing this to me because of Chan-hyung, Jeongin”

Jisung looked at him lost. When this conversation had turned out to be about Chan?

“What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying, Jeongin? You've created this embarrassing situation because you’re jealous of me and Chan! Open your eyes, Jeongin! Look at what you’re doing, this is ridiculous!”

“I’m doing this because everyone got uncomfortable with your behavior!” he screamed.

Changbin and Chan got up at the same time. Members never fought like this, misunderstandings could happen, but some of their youngests were fighting for real and one of them looked like was going to pass out at any second. Again. In the same day!

“You’re doing this because you got jealous that Chan-hyung stood by my side earlier and told you to leave! You’re jealous because he stood supporting me all day long when you had to practice with yours limited way of thinking”

“Please, stop you both” Someone asked.

Felix couldn’t say who. His voice was echoing in his mind.

“Stop lying!”

“I’m not lying and you know that!” Felix pissed. His was angry. It was not right to have someone judging something that really helped you for years just because of some disturbed guesswork. “You know how much I helped you with this, Jeongin. When you told me how you were feeling, I was the one to support you the first, because I’m the one that understands how hard and complicated this situation can be. So you can not come like this, judge me, almost spit in my face, scream in my ears, just because you like Chan-hyung and was waiting for him to agree with you about my way of acting and he obviously did not!”

Adrenaline was running on Felix’s blood, hands shaking, head and ears in complete pain. But when Jeongin pushed himself in Felix’s direction, it hurted even more. Not because he just physically hurted himself (because, god, Jeongin was strong), but also because of this entire situation. Members had never ever attacked each other, things never got to this level of seriousness, nor even in their trainees days nor until today.

Jisung acted fast, trying to get Jeongin away from Felix. Both of them were already lying on the floor, the maknae above him, nobody could be sure of if they had made a single punch movement or were just defending themselves of their own anger and fury. Everyone was screaming, touching, pushing and pulling at the same time.

Jeongin’s mind was also running fast. How could Felix get to the point to tell everyone about his feelings for Chan? And even admit that he was helping him with this?

And fucking God! Chan was about to explode! Everything was going wrong! How could he be calm and think about how to solve things when two of the youngests members were trying to hurt each other both physically and mentally?

Minho and Jisung removed Jeongin from Felix, holding his arms, putting him on his feets and pushing him to the corner of the kitchen, to prevent him from staying close to Felix.

Changbin wasn’t that successful when he tried to make the same with his boyfriend. Felix’s body was limp, his head not being able to process anything, his sensory overload exploded after everything got worse. He didn't have enough strength in his legs to stand up.

“Stay right there, Jeongin! Don’t come close” Chan was saying.

“Felix?” Changbin called, trying to get his attention. Felix’s eyes weren’t focusing on his, head moving in every direction, bending a lot. Seungmin and Hyunjin got closer to them, trying to help as Changbin’s arms held Felix's body by his armpits, the simple movement of connecting their eyes harder than making him stand.

“Hey, Lixie, can you listen to us?” Seungmin tried.

“I don’t think he is okay,” Hyunjin said.

“Love, hey, Felix, look at me” Changbin almost begged and everything he received in return was a painful moan and not understandable words. “Felix, you’re shaking, please, can you talk?”

“What’s wrong?” Chan asked, coming closer to them.

“Let me go!” Jeongin screamed. Like, really screamed, pushing both Minho and Jisung away and it was enough.

Everything that was consuming Felix’s senses (adrenaline, anger, shame, tiredness and all his oversensitivity) made him relapse. Like, his mind got blank instantly, body collapsing.

“Fuck!”

Yeah, FUCK!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, I know, poor Lixie :(  
> And yes, I promise that we'll gonna have a happy ending, okay?  
> I loved to read and answer your comments on the previous chapter, so hope get some on this one as well <3  
> I'm gonna prepare myself to sleep, because I actually have to go to work and less then 5 hours, so if it has any mistakes, I'm gonna correct everything in the morning.
> 
> Kisses <3


	3. It takes time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, but I'm back, okay?  
> My vacations will be end tomorrow, so I took that time to do nothing at home.  
> How was your New Year's Eve? Everything okay? Everyone's ready to 2021?

Felix had a hard night after passing out. He had a fever, retching and a headache caused because of his sensory overload and his crying that just ended when he felt better towards touch.

“Can you hug me?” he asked Changbin who was pressing a wet towel on his forehead.

“Of course I can, love” his boyfriend whispered back, slipping on their bed sheets and cuddling Felix chest to chest. “Do you need something else? Hyunjin will bring some more water for your compress later, I can ask him to bring it.”

“No, I’m just...” he signed, shrinking a bit more between Changbin’s arms. “Just tired and cold.”

“Try to sleep now, okay? I’ll keep watching your fever with Jinnie so you can relax” Changbin told him, already running his fingers on Felix’s hair, to calm him down. He was extremely relieved that he was finally able to touch his boyfriend, hug and squish him in his arms if he wanted, because everything that had happened in a day was pushing all of Stray Kids’ members too much.

They just needed to blink and another bomb would be exploding in front of them. 

Changbin didn’t want to know how things were working on Jeongin, Minho, Hyunjin and Seungmin’s minds, what they did all day long and how they were dealing with this new “Felix and Jeongin’s” situation, not now at least. 

Changbin was used to listening to his dongsaengs problems, their fears and their complaints of how they were struggling with this and that, Changbin figured their stuff out, pointing some of his thoughts to make them understand how to solve everything in the best way possible.

But not know.

Not when his Sunshine was passing out, burning in fever, with his body hurting everywhere because of some fights that were not going to be solved with his own words. No, this was something to be talked about between Felix and Jeongin only.

Well… Felix and his members too.

And, later on, Jeongin and Chan.

Wow, that was something.

But it was something that Changbin wasn't ready to talk about either. Maybe later, he would talk to Chan not like a member to leader, but friend to friend, ‘cause Changbin had passed through this “realisement of feelings” some time ago, with Felix. Of course, he didn’t know if Chan had feelings for Jeongin, but if Jeongin asked Felix’ help, maybe he could give some advice for Chan.

Again, maybe later.

His night was focused on watching Felix, observing him. He fell asleep pretty quickly and his fever was slowly decreasing, which made him ask Hyunjin to go to rest as well. Felix’ breathing panicked him a little bit, because he was getting a little bit anxious even while sleeping, but Jisung told him that this happened as well sometimes, Changbin just needed to whisper some kind words on Felix’ ears and he would be relaxing again. It worked. Yet, he kept thinking of how stressed they were.

Mentally, the past 24 hours were stressful, so how to deal with it?

Both Felix and Changbin had something in common that got them extremely relaxed. And this was Felix’ age regression.

So, as soon as the sun got back to the sky, Changbin put Gyu on Felix’ arms and got changed to get into Chan’s room and see him already awake: working just like always. “Hyung.”

One of Chan’s ears was off of his headphones, so he answered Changbin without even noticing that they were both awake so early in the morning: “Hey, Binnie. It's everything okay? How is Felix?”

“He is okay, things can be a bit harder for him when he has to face and solve things up with Jeongin, but for now, as well as possible. But… I need you to help me with something.”

“And that would be?”

“Hm… Need you to get changed and find a way to have Jeongin out of the dorm for some hours,” he said, putting an interrogation on Chan’s face.

Someway, Chan talked with Minho and, even without knowing what was happening (Chan was clueless as well), he agreed to take Jeongin for a walk, maybe lunch together with Changbin’s credit card. Meanwhile, he himself got to 00 line’s bedroom and asked Jisung to keep an eye on Felix while he and Chan were out, Seungmin was who answered, saying that he didn’t need to worry, more awake than Jisung to give an understandable answer. 

After that, they left, in silence.

Felix woke up an hour later, drained and looking for his boyfriend. He was hungry, so accepted immediately that staying in his bed while Changbin was nowhere to be seeing, wasn’t a possibility. He couldn’t even find his cellphone to send him a text. So, wearing one of Changbin’s black hoodie and Jisung’s sound blockers, he took a deep breath and stepped out of his room: _You can do it_ , he said to himself.

“Morning, Lix” someone greeted him in their kitchen. It was Seungmin with Hyunjin by his side sitting on the kitchen table. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he lied. “Do you know where Changbin is?”

“He left with Chan-hyung a while ago, dunno when they’ll be back, so he asked us to keep an eye on you”

“He did? You guys don’t need to, really”

“But we want to,” Hyunjin said, walking and opening their fridge. “Sit down, you need to eat. Seungmin warmed up some dumplings for you and Changbin texted him as well, saying that we have to give you this” he gave Felix a Pororo banana drink, his favorite. “So, yeah, that's it, eat or he’ll punch us if you don’t get fed before he arrives.”

He sat and started to do it, but some questions were popping in his head.

First, where did Changbin get to even being so early in the morning? Like, with Chan? Studio, maybe, but Felix was doubting that his boyfriend was leaving him alone after what had happened to produce or write a song, because he could do it at home as well.

Second, where was everyone? Even being early, Stray Kids’ dorm used to be quite loud, so finding just Seungmin and Hyunjin in their kitchen wasn’t a common thing.

Third, and the one who made Felix feel oblivious the most was, why Changbin asked their members to give him a Pororo drink? It wasn't something that they have daily in their fridge, so they probably get it from somewhere and not just because of that, but becaue it was a drink that Changbin noticed to be not only Felix’ favorite, but _little Felix’_ top #1 favorite too. Changbin always found a way to have Pororo drinks in their dorm when Felix felt the necessity of sliping, mainly ‘cause just the image of the character stamped on the bottle made him feel small, it’s something that helps Felix to regress. So why? It's too specific to be a coincidence.

Too many questions without answers.

And even the ones that Felix could ask, he didn’t have the courage to.

As he finished eating (with both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s eyes on him), Jisung greeted and sat with them, choosing to eat some chicken breast with seaweed while Felix laid down in his lap. His legs were on Seungmin tights and Jisung put his fingers on Felix's hair, running them through his scalp with no specific intention.

None of them were laughing, screaming or jumping around while playing _Among Us_ together, so it all felt awkward. Felix had this feeling, deep down his chest, that it was his fault, that everything that happened the day before was the turning point of Stray Kids’ end. Or at least, the end of a good relationship between him and some members.

They were already acting differently. The dorm had a different vibe, the members had it too.

It was his fault.

Felix feeling good to have a little space was the responsible thing to end their good relationship.

That was sad. _Terribly sad._

“Felix?” Jisung called him, squeezing Felix’ shoulder just enough to get his attention. “They’re back”.

He got himself back sitting, seeing Chan taking his coat off with a beautiful smile on his face. Gentle and a little bit anxious. Changbin, on the other hand, wasn’t smiling, but leaning a really big bag against the wall. “Good morning”, Chan said.

“Hey, Chan-hyung”, members answered him.

“Hangbokie” Changbin called Felix, using _one of little Felix’ nicknames_.

“Where were you?”

“I asked Chan-hyung to come with me to buy some stuff for you”

“For me? What kind of stuff?”

Now Changbin was smiling at him. _For him. Because of him._

One of his arms hugged Felix by his shoulders as his right hand got busy outlining Lix’ face, touching his freckles as they were a piece of art, so beautifully.

“Bookie…” he whispered, making Felix swallow, “I got Chan-hyung out of the dorm, because I wanted to talk to him about you and about something that I was planning for us today”

“And what would that be?”

Changbin bowed his body just enough to touch Felix’ forehead, leaving a kiss on his skin.

“I was thinking that all of us need to have a serious talk about everything that has happened, but we should do this in a comfortable manner and really let them know exactly what your little and my caregiver space are, so… I planned for you to regress today. With our members here.”

Felix stops breathing for a sec. Hyunjin being the one to comfort him by stroking his back, up and down.

All of them already knew what was going to happen today. Not completely, because Changbin wasn’t that kind of person to explain everything in the little details through messages, so he just texted his members with a preview of what he was thinking after he decided by himself.

If they were clueless of what age regression was and how this really works, Changbin and Felix could only make it clear by letting them see how they practice it. How Felix slips, how he acts, what is this ‘caregiver’ role that Changbin plays and how this can make both of them relax.

And it was in that moment that Felix clicked and understood why some things were happening that day: Jeongin weren’t home for obvious reasons (now that Changbin told him his plans) and Minho might be the one that got responsible to stay with him. Chan and Jisung already had an idea of his little space, so maybe Hyunjin and Seungmin got ‘ok’ with Changbin’s idea and decided to understand age regression as well.

Changbin took Jeongin out of home to make Felix feel comfortable with showing himself to his members. He gave him Pororo drink and called him _Hangbokie_ because they’re triggers that make him feel small and approach his little space.

Binnie was preparing the whole scenery to Felix.

“That's why I was out of home early. Me and Chan got you some cute and new socks, a new paci, crayons and a big dinosaurs coloring book.”

“You bought… You bought a dinosaur coloring book for me?” Felix asked.

“I did,” Changbin smiled, his hands on Felix’ hair again “a big, big one. I told Chan-hyung that you liked dinosaurs the most, so he found the book and we brought it home for us to colour together. What do you think about it?”

“I… hum…” Felix swalod. His little side was jumping in happiness, so excited to see a lot of dinosaurs whose he could paint with the most colorful crayons as possible. “I dunno, Binnie…”

“You don’t need to worry, Lix,” Chan said, smiling again, probably more excited than Felix himself. He would even bet that Changbin told him all the nicknames and pet names that could make Felix feel small. They were really fighting to make him relax to demonstrate to his members how this was a good thing for him. “You don’t need to be shy, we’re your family, remember? I already told you this yesterday, but I’m gonna repeat myself: we’re family, we’re here to support you, not to judge. Binnie prepared everything to make both of you comfortable, it's our job to understand you, so take your time.”

Felix looked deep in Changbin’s eyes.

Of course he was glad that he was trying to make everything clear between Stray Kids’ members (or the most part of them) in a comfortable way, so he tried to look at this situation differently. They weren’t about to expose something really personal of Felix, but of Changbin as well, it was their dynamic, their relationship, their moment to forget everything and just focus on themselves, so if Changbin really planed all of this, talked to his members, made some suggestions of how to act and how to behave themselves on this really personal moments, it was because Changbin was ready to show himself. 

He was being brave. And Felix wanted to be brave too, even feeling so shy to let himself get out.

“I’m right here with you. You know that, right?” Changbin asked. Felix nodded, his sweaty hands pulling Changbin next to him by his biceps to peck their lips for a moment.

“I love you,” Felix told him in a hug.

“I love you too. We can do this” another peck. “Chan-hyung, can you get the bag, please?”

It was time. They were doing it.

All of them got sitting down on their kitchen table. Chan, Felix and Changbin on one side and Seungmin, Jisung and Hyunjin on the other one, facing each other.

“Look what we found for you, baby,” that was caregiver Changbin saying, “look at all these socks! They are all yours, Appa and Chan-hyung choose them just for you.”

Felix’ eyes were shining for those three pairs of socks: a sweet pink one with blue butterflies, a light purple one with sloths hugging pink donuts and a light yellow one with darker yellow chicks on it.

Those socks were a paradise.

"Which one would you like to wear, little prince?” Changbin asked.

He looked at Changbin, a smile starting to explode on his face, but just as much he wanted to come out as little Felix, he was super shy.

“I… I like this one” he simply said, pointing to the chick's one.

Stray Kids’ members weren’t surprised.

“Wow, Appa likes this one too. Let’s wear them, hum? Feets up!”

Chan was surprised this time. Not because of Felix putting his feets on Changbin’s lap and letting his boyfriend (actually, his caregiver) wear him with those cute socks, but because of how Changbin switched to his _caregiver mode_ so fast, almost as fast as yesterday, when Felix was collapsing.

Earlier, when they were visiting stores after stores, he could see how tense Changbin was. How even preparing everything for this moment, his shoulders were tense, his face was serious, Changbin was scared, anxious. Chan could say how he was really nervous, but it wasn’t the right moment to Changbin demonstrate this to Felix. Changbin was his caregiver after all, so he should be a safe place for little Felix, Chan could definitely see how Changbin’s actions were changing, how his body was looking more and more relaxed, how his tone of voice got softer and his way of speaking got slower.

It almost looked like different people.

“Look at this, baby. They fit perfectly” Chan’s eyes were on Felix’ feet. Actually, every member was trying to look at Felix’ feet.

Something on Changbin’s way of speaking was really welcoming.

“They’re so cute,” Han said, smiling brightly.

But even Jisung being the one that had already talked and acted with Felix like someone who is used to dealing with kids, that made Felix shrink. He wasn’t in little space yet, he was regressing a little bit, but coming back to his used headspace some seconds later.

“Don’t be shy, baby.” Changbin asked while trying to reach Felix’ hands with his own. “Do you need me to count for you? We can do this.”

Felix leaned his head to Changbin’s shoulders, taking deep breaths. His little side was there, trying to come out, but Felix was repressing it. He wanted to be brave like Changbin, he was telling himself all the time that members were there to accept him, but he was feeling like those days where he didn’t even have Changbin as a caregiver. Felix was feeling like those times where he couldn’t fully regress because he was too tense for having that possibility of getting caught and discovered.

“He is fine?” Hyunjin asked, a bit nervous.

Felix took a deep breath again before getting his hoodie up his head, covering his head, hair and ears. “Need counting”, he said. Changbin smiled.

“Come here, my prince.” Changbin opened his arms, letting Felix get up his laps, hugging him. His legs were side to side Changbin’s hip, nose pressed Changbin’s warm skin neck, eyes closing immediately. “Can someone get his new pacifier on the bag and wash it, please?”

Seungmin got up to do what Changbin said, still paying attention in everything he started to explain: “Gonna talk about this with your hyungs, okay?”, he was saying that to Felix, starting to bounce his body back and forth, like he was lulling a baby. “When Felix has some troubles to get fully regressed, I get him in my arms and start counting. It isn’t a count just about numbers, but with these numbers I tell him some things that are part of his little space, some stuff that we are gonna do together and stuff that can make him relax. So, with that, he will feel much safer and ready to regress without thinking too much. Because this is a headspace to help him relax and do not worry about anything anymore, so remembering him about the things that he likes to do when he is little, helps a lot.”

Felix was quiet. It was so good to feel that Changbin was being the responsible one to talk to their members, to explain what they were doing. That feeling about being cared for was burning on his body, he didn’t need to do anything but relax.

“Thank you, Minnie,” he listened to his Appa saying, putting a new paci on his mouth. “Now, we're gonna keep breathing and listen just to what Appa will say, okay? Your hyungs are right here with us, so they can see what I see everytime my amazing and precious little prince Hangbokie comes out.”

Changbin's voice was so calm. Stays could never imagine that that powerful and dark rapper they see on stage is the same person that is taking care of Felix now, even stroking his back.

“One, Appa prepared some things for us to do today, all together, you know that? Appa and Chan-hyung bought a huge dinosaur coloring book and new crayons for us to share with your hyungs, because I’m pretty sure that we can make a lot of pieces of art together, hum? Bookie drawings are always so pretty, Appa thinks that we can even hang one of our paintings on the fridge, you would like that, right? Two, Appa remembered a really nice thing that is… Little Lix likes to talk in english, so I’m pretty sure that Seungminnie, Hannie and Chan-hyung can speak in english with you. Appa promised that he’ll learn english, but it's a bit hard, you understand Appa, don’t you?”

All of them smiled without even noticing. After all, Felix had a tough time learning korean so fast on their training and debuting days, it wasn’t a surprise for them that Little Felix felt the need to talk in his mother language while regressed. Even in his normal headspace he was used to switching between korean and english while talking to Chan, so all of them could understand his necessity of english when relaxed. He even talked in english with Seungmin sometimes, maybe that’s why the youngest one got an australian accent in his english.

“Three, Appa bought some Pororo drinks for you, so we’re gonna take down our rule of not drinking too much Pororo banana drinks at once for today, okay? But just for today, you know that your stomach can get a little messy if you drink too much.”

Felix was getting deeper in his headspace. Listening to Changbin, his mind was picturing every scene that Changbin was describing, understanding everything he prepared, Felix was even imagining his members there with him. Talking kindly, smiling.

Little Felix has always admired his hyungs. In his regressed mind, his hyungs were the best, the amazingest one in the whole world. Wow, he lived with people that could sing and dance so beautifully, that his eyes shined everytime he watched a video of his hyungs. He recognized that he loved them much more than Pororo drinks. So, maybe that’s why when getting so immersed in his little headspace, his body changed to a more relaxed feeling, his nose and eyes were getting filled by that urge to cry.

Little Felix had six hyungs. Not four. Minho and Jeongin weren’t there.

His family wasn’t complete.

“Four, we have these cute socks, but that isn’t all. Appa found your new paci, with a lot of hearts stamped on it so Chan-hyung have an amazing idea of buying lollipops with a heart shape for us to have after lunch. Will be a day with a lot of nice things for our Hangbookie to have fun with. And five, now you have a lot of your hyungs to cuddle you, I’m pretty sure that they will be hugging and kissing you as soon as they can, much, much, much skinship, because my baby deserves it, right?”

All of them saw the exact moment where the first tears started to run Felix’ face. His nose was red and he was hugging Changbin like his life depended on it, he didn’t have a happy expression on his face. He was suffering and Changbin just needed to take little Lix new paci of his mouth to make all of them hear his sobs.

“What happened?” Chan asked.

“Oh, baby, what is it, hm? Tell me why you’re crying”

Changbin took him even closer to his body, hugging him tight and lullabying him a little bit harder. He could feel that Felix was regressed.

“Appa…” he called.

Members were finally seeing little Lix. And they were scared again. 

Not because of the situation, but because of why it was making Felix cry.

“Yes, baby? I’m right here, tell me whats wrong”

“Appa…” he called again, sobbing.

“You need us to leave, Changbin-hyung?” Jisung asked, ready to get everyone into their rooms with this would make Felix feel better.

But Changbin moved his head in a negative way. They didn’t have to. Changbin could see that they weren’t the problem.

“Baby? Remember what Appa always tells you? You don’t need to repress your feelings and your emotions, so it’s okay to cry, I’m right here to take care of you…” he kissed his forehead. “Very good, keep breathing, like that, good boy… But Appa needs to know what's the problem, so we can find a way to solve it, okay? You’re feeling old enough to tell me what is wrong?”

Felix pressed his palm against Changbin’s back, to make him know that he was feeling five years old. They had developed some signs to talk to each other without using words when Felix wasn’t feeling able to speak, so Changbin could recognize that. In fact, if Felix was feeling five, he was probably going to talk to him soon, he was just needing some time.

“Very good, you are doing it so well”, he praised Felix, leaving his cheeks pressed to Felix's forehead, never stopping lulling him.

Members could understand that too. Even without being regressors, everyone needs to have their time and space respected as well, mainly when they’re not feeling their best. So, little by little, even not getting completely into Felix’ little headspace, they already could tell that it was a normal thing, it wasn’t just about act like a child, but to get connected with your emotions, your feelings, your personal way to deal with the world that asked them so much every single day.

It was about discovering and loving yourself.

They could never take this out of Felix.

“Appa…” Lix called, almost in a whisper, but loud enough to maintain everyone’s attention on him.

“Yes, Bokie?”

“Appa, why Innie don’t like Lixie?”

It was about that. Little Lix and Felix were the same person after all. He was hurt.

“Why do you think Innie doesn’t like you, baby?”

“I… Lix hurted him. “I… I’ve hurted him, Appa. Lix said things that were a secret. Secret’s can’t be revealed, right?”

Little Lix was blaming himself for letting everyone know about Jeongin being in love with Chan. And that wasn’t a topic that even the members haven’t discussed yet, so that was unexpected.

“You right, baby. When we have a secret that it’s not ours, we shouldn’t let anyone know about this, because that means that we broke someone’s trust. And trust it’s a hard thing to have back, you understand this?” he asked, watching Felix agree. “But I don’t think that’s the main reason why you think Innie doesn’t like you.”

“Innie hurted Lix too, Appa, dunno why. Lixie was scared.”

“I see…” he shared a glance with Chan, both feeling a bit sad. “This is something that big you will have to talk with Innie later, but Appa can see that you’re hurt and we can’t repress that, right? So what we gonna do is: Appa, Lixie, Channie, Hannie, Minnie and Jinnie will have fun together in the next few hours, we’re gonna paint together, watch some cartoons, have some candy after lunch and then, we gonna find time to talk about this, okay?” Changbin said, finally getting Felix’ tears out his skin, seeing his lashes and his beautiful freckles wet. “We have to remember that because of what happened, both of you got hurt, so all of us might respect yours and Innie’s time.”

“Appa… Time takes long to come?”

Members laugh. He was so pure.

“For some people it takes, baby. So we have to be patient and wait.”

“Okay…” getting silent for a second. “Want paci”

“Wait” Chan said, getting everyone’s eyes on him. “What about this?”

He was handling a Pororo drink. Little Felix got red from shyness instantly, looking for his caregiver permission.

“You can have it, Chan-hyung is offering it to you. Do you want it?”

“Yes.”

“So take it and thank him.”

Lix, yet a bit embarrassed, raised his arms in Chan’s direction, holding a Pororo bottle for a bit. “ _Can you open, please?_ ”, he asked in english.

It was so cute that butterflies were flying in members' chests.

“ _Of course, Bokie,_ ” he answered, taking the bottle back, opening and letting Felix have it again.

“ _Thank you, Chan-hyung_ ”

“ _We’re welcome, baby"_

Members were screwed. Little Lix was going to put them down on his feet.

“Alright! Now we have some painting to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, leave a comment. I love to talk with you, guys.  
> Dunno when I'll be back, but promise to make it as soon as possible.  
> This will not take much more than 2 chapters to end :(


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